Angry

So, this semester has been rough for me as I talked about in my last post. But another issue has come up. My roommate. Last year, she went to bed at like 11 every night and if we were in here, usually it was just us. And that was great for me!

This year, however, has been a complete switch. I feel so petty complaining about it. But being the introvert that I am, it has been hard. She has people in here constantly and she goes to bed, usually at about 2 AM every night. I have just started noticing that now, they just walk in without even asking. Just a little while ago, we were in here with the door mostly shut and one of her friends (a guy) just kicked the door open, walked in, and sat down on the couch. He wasn't here to talk to her (or me, of course) or to show her anything. He just was here to sit on the couch and read. Then Kelly went to go to the bathroom and another friend of hers walked in with out asking me. I mean, I see that as really rude. But even if I would, I don't feel like I can say anything to them about it since they aren't my friends. But something has to change. I can't spend another semester angry and upset and storming out every time there are six people in here when I'm trying to study. Maybe I'm overreacting. I don't even know now.

I am so non-confrontational that I have just avoided it all and now it is just making me really bitter and upset and I have been complaining to all of my friends about it. I don't want to go on like this. One of my friends suggested writing her a letter. I have started one but it isn't very good. I waver between too nice and too angry. It's gone on so long that I'm afraid that if I speak up I'll either be really angry and blow up or I'll not end up expressing what I want to change. I just don't know what to do.

I feel like it is really hindering me right now. I guess I just want to feel free to ask them to leave. But I don't. And even if Kelly told me it was fine to tell them to leave, I still wouldn't feel ok about it. But I guess it comes with practice. All I know right now is that it HAS to change and soon.