Theology? And being 21

It's funny how tiny things that people say will stick out to you. Last week, the pastor preached on how the Galatians believed in the power of God and how that made things happen. He mentioned Isaiah 30:15, "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength." The sermon was really good but for some reason that passage stuck out in my mind even though he just mentioned it for about a second. I went back and looked it up. I've been thinking about it off and on.

I just recently turned 21 and had my first surprise birthday party! It was a lot of fun. I was had not the faintest idea that anything out of the ordinary was going on until they surprised me. Then on Friday, I bought my first alcoholic beverage. I got a tropical margarita. It was pretty good, but extremely expensive. I probably will stick with water or sweet tea except for special occasions... I also worry about having too much or becoming addicted. I know that sounds a little silly, but it has been a problem for some members in my family, so I would rather be more cautious. I don't want to be a tee-totaler and I won't condemn people for drinking, but I think in general I will steer away from drinking. I guess I'm still experiencing the effects that drinking caused in my family and so I'm wary.

On a completely different note, our pastor spoke about gossip today. I really liked his definition of gossip. He said that it was anything you said about a person that you would not say or say differently if they were there. That really makes you think. He talked about how powerful words are. They have the power to create life or to kill. God spoke creation into being. When someone tears you down, you remember exactly where you were and how they said it. When someone encourages you when you really need it, you remember that, too. He also talked about how a lot of times, people say "I probably shouldn't say this, but..." If you shouldn't say it, then don't say it. He also talked about how it was a heart issue. "For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks." (Matt. 12:34) We tear down others because we feel small. If we find our worth in God as his children, we have no need to tear others down. We then can build others up.

He also talked about complaining. He said complaining was us wanting to gain control of our lives. He suggested replacing complaining with prayer. Prayer recognizes that the Lord, not me, is in charge. What if we used all the time we complained in prayer instead?

While he was talking, I realized that I really wanted to change my tendencies to gossip and complain. I didn't like it and it's not good for me or the people around me. I am keeping my eyes on the goal.

I don't know if I wrote about this, but at one point I was so confused and I didn't know what was going on. I was sitting in my room at home talking to God, telling him how confused I was. I was just confused and lost and then he asked me, "What do you want?" The way he said it, he wanted (wants) to know what I really really want more than anything else. I realized that what I really want is that at the end of my life, when I get to heaven, the Lord will look at me and say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Sometimes that sounds really self-serving to me. I guess because we should love the people around us and share the good news to help them, not us. But, is it bad that I should want my Daddy to be proud of me? That I should yearn after that approval? Those words are the ultimate words of life for me. Spoken to me by the God that loves me no matter what. Standing in front of Him in all my shame and filth. To have Him look down at me and say that...

"Well done, my good and faithful servant."

Wow.

Forgetful Me

Forgive me, I started this post a while back and left it. I have come back to finish it and add several other posts.

"[Jesus] got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. 'Where is your faith?' he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, 'Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.'" (Luke 24-25, NIV)

It is encouraging to remember that even the disciples who were with Jesus all the time lacked faith at times. They forgot that Jesus was the Lord in addition to his being a man. But at the same time, that doesn't give us license to be content with a lack of faith. We need to work to have faith in our Lord.

"The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on in their way they are choked by life's worries, riches, and pleasures, and they do not mature." (Luke 8:14, NIV)

I don't want to be the seed among the thorns. I don't want to be choked by life's worries, riches, and pleasures. I want to find my worth in Jesus and follow him with all of my heart. I don't want to be caught up in this world that is not my home.